bad habits we have developed from the roots of facebook and other means of social networking and improved technology. they have made us all socially retarded and lazy in one way or another:
-"it's so much easier to eyeball that hot girl at a party nowadays than work up the balls to walk over and introduce myself, so instead i'll act like a total standoffish douche all night, then add her as a friend on facebook afterwards: "hi! i think i saw you at that party the other night. let me give you my cell phone number so i can continue being a pussy and we can text constantly instead of hanging out and having a face-to-face conversation.""
-"i can't stand that guy! he's friends with my girlfriend on facebook and constantly likes her pictures and leaves links on her page. i'm gonna get just as offended over that as i would if he walked right up to her in front of me and grabbed her ass."
- "i "met" these 3 people at a party last night because they're friends of association: we were introduced and superficially left it at, "hi what's up?", so i'm gonna add them on facebook first thing when i get home later and immediately leave them a comment telling them it was nice meeting them the other night. after this, i'm probably never going to see them again because they live out of town and were only in for a few days, and i'm not gonna talk to them much, if at all on facebook either: i'm going through my friends list and can categorize several people as ones i "met" once at a party months and even years ago and haven't talked to since."
-"i know that facebook status is about me...it's so much more mature and easier to post that than for her to just send me a message telling me i've been bothering her."
-"that girl is so pretty...my self-esteem is gone. no, i'm going to take an even HOTTER picture and put it up right now. the heat's on, bitch."
- "my ex talks to too many other girls on facebook, so i'm gonna take charge becoming a jealous psycho hose beast and add them all as friends and creep on their profiles to see what they look like and look through all their recent statuses and pictures to see if he leaves them as many comments as they do him. i'm also going to go through all his newsfeed with a fine-tooth comb multiple times daily to nose through all the comments he leaves other people."
-"i don't think i'll ever get over her...at least i still have her facebook to stalk, maybe it'll bring her back somehow, even though i have to look at all the comments her and her new boyfriend leave each other so when it comes down to it it'll probably just make me feel worse."
- "have you talked to paul lately?" -"yeah we've been friends on facebook for 2 years now and he constantly leave me comments and messages me we should hang out, but whenever i see him within the last 2 years in public he's always extremely flighty and acts totally aloof."
- "i have the worst unnecessary paranoia and anxiety about having to communicate with someone through a viewing surface before we make plans. if someone comes over i'm just not gonna answer the door. they didn't text first! I LOOK LIKE SHIT! I DON'T WANNA TALK TO ANYONE RIGHT NOW! even though it's my best friend of 7 years and they don't give a shit."
-"we need to talk, honey...get on facebook."
-"i don't like that person because we were arguing with each other though 50+ comments on someone's facebook status about something really stupid that really comes down to a matter of personal choice and opinion."
-"if it wasn't for the ego-boosting comments people leave me on facebook (even though my photos look pretty different from what i look like in person), i probably wouldn't be the stuck-up douche/cunt that i am. facebook feeds my ego!"
-"on facebook i attack a lot of people through comments proving them wrong and putting them down about things. i must be really smart and better than them. i'm gonna act like a pantywaste to everyone now."
- "i'm just not gonna answer my phone...they should've texted me."
- "i'm not gonna answer my phone because i don't have the balls to tell someone i don't wanna go out tonight. i'm just gonna ignore them and text them tomorrow apoligizing that i fell asleep."
- "i haven't had literally 5-10 seconds to reply to your text for the next year, sorry for ignoring you...i've been too busy!"
- "instead of calling a friend telling them i'm upset and need some support, i'm gonna write these emo lyrics about being heartbroken in a status, or something really sensitive and negative about giving up. it's not like that's not gonna make it obvious my relationship/love life isn't going good, and now the whole city of jamestown will know everything going on in my life and have one more thing to gossip about."
- "i'm going to reassure you i still give a shit about you by leaving you a facebook comment that i miss you and we need to hang out again soon, even though i really don't miss you that much when it comes down to it, and will probably continue making no effort to make and keep plans."
- "i'm mad at her, i'm gonna delete her from my facebook when i get home,": TAKE THAT, BITCH! ("oh...cindy and john are facebook friends again for the 3rd time this week, must be they made up once again.")
- "i'm sick of creepy guys hitting on me on facebook, even though i accept literally every friend request i get, even if it's someone i have very few-no mutual friends with and looks like someone i don't really ever want to get to know...and have over 1,000 friends. it's not like i can delete and block people."
- "i'm really sick of the statuses this girl posts cause all she does is bitch, even though it was my choice to be her friend on facebook and i can easily delete her or just hide her posts."
- it's so much quicker and effortless to just like someone's comments or status than it is to take the time to read notes and provide full-on input and thoughts.
- "lol" which started as an im-ing word, is now used way too commonly and loosely: "i'm going to write "lol" after i tell you you're cute in a picture comment because for some reason it makes me feel less bashful." "i'm going to write "lol" after every other complete sentence i write to sound less harsh even though there's nothing even remotely related to humor in what i just said. also "jk" seems to be a way to excuse your bashfulness, even though that perverted comment you just made has a lot of truth in it.
=shelly scene
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